You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
