i jhust puked up my retainher.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
