hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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