bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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