Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
