Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
