Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
