if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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