and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
