Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
