i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
