Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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