She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
