ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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