you guys were way drunker than both of me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
