dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
