Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
