guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Holy sore nipples Batman
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
