I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
