I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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