I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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