4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we're so committed to being not committed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
