I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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