Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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