i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
