I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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