theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
