I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
