this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
