i think i have two assholes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
