I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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