My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Welp...herpes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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