Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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