I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
