just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
