You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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