Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
