Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize