we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
