So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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