Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
