doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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