my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
