belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
