He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
