Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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