i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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