before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
