i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
