I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
