brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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