my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
