oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
