I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
