I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
