What a fucking waste of an outfit
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
