hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
