Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize