Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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