The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
