Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There r osticjed everywhere
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
