I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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