you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
