Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize