i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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