Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
