I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
