I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
