D3 body, D1 cock
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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