I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
